Being pushed to the side.

I haven't blogged in a long time.. whoops! All of G's family came for thanksgiving and we had a great time, it made me miss G alot though. But then I kept thinking he'll be here in a couple weeks, 18 days to be exact! I can't believe he is about to be here! I really can't believe that i've been away from my husband for 7 months. These 7 months have really effected our marriage.. The other night he said that sometimes he doesn't want to talk to me because it makes him miss me more and then makes him even more sad than he already was. .. That really hurt me and idk, it justs that, that's all we are is skype.. that's the only communication we have. Why wouldn't he want to talk to me? Is he going to be like this when little G's here, push both of us away? It really hurts because.. his job that he voluntarily decided to do takes alot away from our family and i'm very supportive of it. I never bitch about it and he is always saying how happy he is that I support eveything he does. Well.. that's what I get for being supportive, being pushed away? I just don't understand..

I'm ready for tomorrow!

Geez! I can't believe Thanksgiving is tomorrow, i'm so ready to shove all the wonderful goodness in my mouth haha! I'm not cooking, to be honest i've never cooked a thanksgiving.. ever! My mother in-law is cooking and were having all my in-law family over. G's Uncle, Aunt, cousins and his Nanny who I absolutely LOVE, she is the sweetest lady i've ever met. I'm really excited for them to get here, time is going by so fast for me and i'm so happy that it is! I just hope the time after thanksgiving doesn't slow down, hopefully it won't. I'll be having doctors appointment every week and maybe that'll make time seem like it's going fast.

Which btw I'm really worried, I changed tricare from standard to prime and now I have to be referred to my OB doctor which takes tricare but i'm hoping my primary doctor will refer me to my OB that i've been seeing and not a new one. Because my OB that i've been seeing has already scheduled me to be induced on December 30th and I have to have this baby before January 5th because Garretts leave ends then and then baby days start.. but baby days can't start if the baby isn't here yet. Ohh Gosh, Please pray for me that everything works out!!


Anyways, I hope everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving!!

3 week and some days!!

I met my mom half way yesterday to drop off my sister, I miss her alot! I cried after I dropped her off, I blame my Pregnancy hormones for crying! After Amber left I realized how lonely I am here in Arkansas. In all honesty though moving here was the best for me and little G, my in-laws love him so much already and he's not even here yet. I'm really greatful for them, it may not show alot and really what in-laws don't get on your nerves.. but i'm so happy and Thankful to have them in my life. I married into such a wonderful family.
I got some good news today, I called the efmp office today for me and little G to get screened and she was really nice and helpful way better than the people I dealt with in Fort hood!!! But with her comforting advice, i'm hoping that little G and I will be in Germany before April or atleast in April! I'm praying really hard for that so Little G and G will get to bond before G deploys.





Ohh, Have a said latley how much I miss this Guy? Just 24 days left till he's in my arm again!

The beginning of my pregnancy to ALMOST the end!!

-I was probably 10 weeks in this picture, I didn't find out I was pregnant till like the 8th week so this is the very first picture of my stomach.


-I think I was about 13 weeks in the picture.


-18 weeks in this one


-22 weeks




-This is me at 28 weeks.


-& the most recent, 33 weeks:) This was a couple nights ago, playing bingo with my sister and sister in-law and eating ice cream haha:)

33 weeks

I can't believe i'm almost done with my pregnancy! It's actually, believe it or not has gone by really fast and i'm so happy that this time has gone by fast. I guess flying from Germany and traveling back and forth from Texas to Arkansas will make things go by faster lol.
At night I've been having the weirdest pain, my stomach and back ache and my stomach gets hard.. My doctor said it's probably just my stomach stretching but still it's an awfully uncomfortable pain. My doctor also said that he's scheduling me to be induced on G's birthday, I think that would be so cute if Little G was born on G's birthday:) Ohh I can't wait till my boys get here!! I'm just now getting the hospital bag ready. I still need to get a couple things for me but I almost have the bag ready, it feels all surreal getting thing situated for little G's arrival. I can't believe there's pretty much only 1 full week left of November, Thank you God for making this time go by fast!


Btw, I just wanted to say thank you for all the supportive comments! I can't tell y'all how much it means to me to read all those comments!! I promise I'm going to try to not be a "debby downer" LOL:)

Since it's November..

Since it's November and I've been complaining a lot more than being thankful. I thought I should say what I'm thankful for and I am Thankful for a lot!


I'm Thankful for:
-I have a healthy baby that will be here sooner than I know it!
-G will actually be there for little G's birth, which is a big deal!
-G will finally be here for my birthday after 3 years of us being together.
-I'm going to spend Christmas with G
-I have tons of family with my that love me until I move to Germany.
-I'm getting to spend time with my sister before she leaves to join the Air Force.
-30 Days till G is here!:)
-6 weeks till Little G's here:)


I'm learning slowly that I need to stop focusing on the bad and realize that I am lucky in so many ways and things could be much worse. I'm a work in progress!

I just miss my husband!!!

it's been 6 months since i've seen my husband.. I have one more month to go till I see him again. I feel like i'm going threw a deployment(kinda) not really but still 6 months is a friggen long time to be away from your husband GAHH! I guess i'm finally reaching my "going insane" point. I was sooo stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid for coming back to the states to have my baby. What was I thinking, leaving my husband to have my baby somewhere I felt "safe" leaving my husband just because I was scared?! He's deploying next year, later next year.. but still i've wasted 6 months I could have spent with him!! &then I'm going to be "wasting" a couple more months with this stupid command sponsorship, I'm praying harder than ever that it'll go by so fast so I can be with my husband. Because My husband and I made a mistake thinking I needed to go back to the states. I guess i've learned my lesson.. If I have a choice I'm never leaving my husbands side EVER again!


...I'm so glad I have this blog to vent at. I feel a little better!

It's been awhile

I haven't blogged in a while, I've missed it lol. My sister and I have been getting all my baby shower gifts washed and set up for Little G to come. My father in-law has set up the stroller, car seat, crib and swing. We purchased G's ticket to come here for Christmas leave:) Yayyy, I can't wait!! He's going to school for a month and won't be able to talk to me while he's there. But I'm okay with that because he'll be here soon. &now there saying the deployment date is later, so I think were back to moving to Germany. I'm just so tired of all this, I wish G's first duty station was in the states it just would have made things so much less stressful. So we're back to moving to Germany after Little G's born. I'm dreading this command sponsorship process:/ I guess all I can do is pray that it won't be a hard process. Because the people that i've already talked to are a$$holes and i'm already having to be rude to people to get any answers and I hate that I have to be that way!! Ughhh.

Thank You

-Thank you Dad for your almost 20 years in the service! I love you


-Thank you G, I'm proud to be married to such a wonderful person! I love you


-Thank you Grandpa, you had a rough life, alot of it having to do with what you dealt with overseas. You were a great man and I miss you dearly. I love you Grandpa!

32 weeks

I had a doctors appointment today and i've gained 17 pounds in the past 8 weeks:( I don't even wanna type how much I actually weigh.. Well anyway my doctor said I need to watch my weight. I've never been on a diet i've always been a really skinny girl and i've always been very active.. So I don't know a thing about how to "watch my weight" any advice would be greatly appreciated lol. But here's an update on my belly and on the plus side I only have 8 weeks left!

On the road again..

Yesterday I picked my sister up from the airport and we've been on the go ever since! Finally getting home around 11 last night, had to stop and see everyone before we leave. Today we took my little brother who is 6 to go see Mega mind.. let me just say that I heard a guy snoring the whole time during the movie. Yeah that's how boring the movie was, it wasn't even like a cute funny movie.. I think there was one time were I laughted, But my brother enjoyed it and I guess that's all that matters. Tomorrow my sister and I are getting ready to go back to Arkansas, I'm dreading going back there. I have no family there except my inlaws, I don't have anywhere to go except my doctors appointments when i'm there. I just really feel like I don't belong there more and more everyday. But thank God Amber will be there with me for two weeks and then basically just 30 days until G comes home, that's nothing!! Ahh I can't wait to see my husabnd!!





He's really dirty in this picture because he just got outta the field, Taken in May! ughh I miss this guy!

Sisterly Love.

Tomorrow my younger sister will be here, I can't wait!! I've missed her so much and haven't seen her since July. In my blogs for the next week i'm sure there will be alot of picture of Amber and I, but for now heres a funny one that I took about a couple years ago at Joe's crab shack!





HAHA, This has to be my favorite picture of her!

9 more weeks!

I'm exhausted!! I've been on the go for the past 3 days and for my 31 week pregnant butt that's enough to well.. send me to the ER last night! I was having lower stomach and back pain that would go away and come back, go away and come back. About after the 5th time that started to happen I began to worry, so I called my grandma into the room (i've been visiting her for the past week) and then she called my aunt and by then it wasn't getting any better. They said maybe we should go to the ER.. it's better to be safe then sorry my aunt said because it sounds like contractions. As soon as she said that I started to freak out, "i'm only 31 weeks he's got a little bit longer to go!" So we went to the ER. They put me on a monitor to monitor my contractions and little G's heart beat. Little G was great, heart beat was very strong and I had a couple contractions. The doctor said my cervix was closed and I wasn't dilated so that was good news.. and 2 hours later they sent me home and said "if it happens again, just come back" When I left the hostpital and the drive home I was still having them but it wasn't as painful.

So I guess, finally at 31 weeks i'm having braxton hicks contractions. False labor.. ohh man Do I kinda feel dumb!




Here's and update on my belly.. can you see the "tired" in my face?

Awards!!

Thanks Ines @ The few, The proud, The wife for my first blog Award! :)

10 Things I like:

1.) I love my husband and my son growing in my belly!
2.) I'm extremely greatful for the family that helps me get threw the days
3.) I like the new DQ pumpkin blizzards
4.) I love Texas!
5.) I love blogging, i'm actually starting to think i'm addicted
6.) I love big red
7.) I love sleeping, going to miss it when lil G's born
8.) I love my new car.. mini suv
9.) I love animals, can't wait to get a dog of our own.
10.) I love to read.

5 Blogs I like:

1.) ACU's, Stiletto shoes, and pretty pink tutus
2.) The Deutschland Report
3.) The longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss
4.) Watching Airplanes
5.) Mcdancing through life



& Then this Award:)



Rules:
1. Thank the link back to you
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Pass it along to a blog you've recently discovered
4. Leave the recipients a note telling them about the award

Thanks Mcdancing through life and Watching Airplanes


Okay, 7 things about me:
1. I'm 31 weeks
2. This is my first pregnancy
3. My husbands stationed in Germany.
4. I'm not sad i'm not there because I lived there when I was 11
5. If I could stay hydrated off sweet tea that's the only thing i'd drink
6. Family is very important to me but that isn't the case for most my family
7. I have a love/hate relationship with my mother. She's a very selfish person.

I'm going to pass this too..

SLM @ Army Dogs

Geez.

These past couple days i've been extremely busy with my bank and trying to refinance my car. Well I went to two places and they both denied us because My husband and I don't have enough credit. We only have two bills right now and I pay them early everytime, but I can see why we don't have enough credit yet. This has been a very irritating subject for my husband and I, so we've just recently decided that we are going to get our first credit card. I'm not very excited about this but we've got to do something to build our credit, because this is ridiculous! So just because i'm a major list maker i'm going to make a to-do list for everything that I need to get done before G gets deployed.


To-Do list

-Get a dresser for little G
-Tell my in-laws i'm moving out
-Get a credit card
-Have a stress free week while my sister is in Arkansas with me
-Have a great couple of weeks with G while he visits:)
-Save up more money
-Start looking for a house
-Move into a house before May
-Apply for Wic In Texas
-Take a deep breath and relax!


By the way, Thanks everyone for the supportive comments in my last blog!:)

Ohh Army

I got a call from G today and he wasn't very happy. He had told me he had a bad day and some how the conversation about us moving to Germany came up. He said that he's thought about it and thinks it's pointless for my son and I to come to Germany. Because in all reality as much as I don't want this to be true, by the time I get command sponsored he'll already be deployed. And by the time G gets back from deployment it'll be time for a new duty station, we've had a horrible experience with Germany, period! So I mean all in all i'm really not disappointed, at all that I won't be traveling a 9 hour plane ride with a 3 month old child and I won't be in a country that doesn't speak my language while my husbands gone.

Well, my next thing I have to do now is.. after I have little G I'm going to be moving back to Texas, where all my side of the family is. I can NOT and will NOT be living with my in-laws threw a whole deployment, I'll go mad! Garretts the only thing that keeps me sane while i'm there because I get to talk to him everyday. I can't imagine how i'd be if I only got a quick call from him every month or whatever and dealing with living with someone else. After little G is born i'll be there for a couple months they'll get to watch him grow for a good amount of time. I don't know, is this wrong of me for not being able to stand to live with someone else?

Dancing with the stars

Last week when Audrina got kicked off dancing with the stars, even after my physco voting she still got kicked off, I told myself I was no longer watching the show! What did I do at 7 o'clock when dancing with the stars came on? Yup.. I watched it and the person I now want to stay on is that really tall black guy, I don't remember his name. But he's just so cute and he has this little partner that he's twice the size of. &Now since Audrina is gone, this is who i'm going to be voting for, if they get kicked off tomorrow.. I'm serious, no more watching Dancing with the stars for me!!







What shows are you watching?