3rd times the charm?

Only a couple more weeks till G's here for block leave.. I'm really excited he's coming because were going back home to Texas not the panhandle Texas but home Texas. Where we grew up, where we graduated high school and were all our family and friends are. And were I'm moving back too! I couldn't do it it the Panhandle.. my family is too much drama and I don't need that while G is deployed! Arkansas it's miserable here! I am going stir crazy here and my husband and I both agree I need to get the heck outta here! Ever heard of 3rd times the charm.. well i'm hoping that's what my case is. Crossing my fingers it works out back home!


I have some really good news about my Weight loss. I've lost 16 pounds!! Whoop Whoop only 10 more pounds and i'm at my pre-pregnancy weight!! I've worked really hard on loosing my baby weight. I had a C-section so I had to wait 6 weeks before I could work out.. but by feburary I started trying to eat good.. well that wasnt really workiing for me lol. So when I moved to the panhandle I started this work out class it was an hour a day for 6 days a week and I lost 10 pounds doing that. Then I moved back to Arkansas and I decided that i've already lost 10 pounds i'm not just gonna stop here. So I joined the gym around my in laws house. I started running a mile and lifting weights that helped me loose 6 more pounds and i'm still loosing. I've been trying really hard to stop drinking cokes but it's not easy!!

Before


After:



Both horrible pictures sorry lol. But G and I were both exhausted from little sleep and the other one is blurry :/ sorry guys!

Wheew!

I'm pretty tired today.. My sister in law had cheer tryouts today, she did awesome.. and i'm pretty sure she'll make the team she wants to make. Were so excited because this is competition cheer and we'll go travel to her competitions it's gonna be fun!! Then after that we went to a NICU reunion, Little G was in the NICU after I had him and they had a reunion for all the babies that were in the NICU. There were probably about 500 babies there!! It was awesome hearing some of the moms stories! So that took up most of my day and let me tell you i'm beat!!

But wait I have some pretty good news.. well atleast for me lol. I only need to loose 13 moor pounds till i'm at my pre-pregnancy weight!! I'm so excited!! I've been running a mile everyday and my time has been improving so much.. I never thought I'd love running as much as I do!!

Well hope you ladies all have a wonderful Mothers day tomorrow:)

Cinco de Mayo, who knew?

May 5th or as most people know it Cinco de Mayo will alway be a special day for me. A year ago today I found out I was pregnant, I woke up on May 5, 2010 feeling a little weird so I decided to take a pregnancy test.. I thought oh what the heck I'm most likely not pregnant but it wouldn't hurt to see. I peed on the stick and not more than 20 seconds later 2 pink lines appeared. I was in shock G and I had been trying for almost a year.. and today it's finally happening. I was in Germany then and G was in the field so imagine how anxious I was to finally tell him when he came home. I won't ever forget this day.. God has truely blessed G and I with Little G! I couldn't ask for a better blessing:)


Mommy LOVES you Little G!




Ohh and one more thing.. I'm completely blonde now and I love it!

You could say i'm hurt

In a month and 17 days G will be flying to the states for block leave.. then shortly after that is the dreaded Deployment... sighhhh:( I'm trying to not think about it honestly which is definitely not a good thing for when the day finally approaches us. I mean I should be excited that I'm about to see G again but those 2 weeks are going to fly by and then Deployment. I'm not ready for this.. but NO one ever is, even if you have a years notice. Guess it makes it even more worse that I'm going back and forth from Arkansas to Texas. I'm so mad and hurt that G decided to not go threw with command sponsorship. I was so ready to live as a family and have my own things. I don't belong in Texas nor Arkansas. G knows how hurt and angry I am at him.. it's actually caused some major fights with us because I just can't let it go. I have to wake up everyday where I don't want to be.. He made a very selfish decision doing this. I have so much on my mind with this Deployment coming up and G making the decesion to not have our family together before he leave.

I was as happy as I could be giving the circumstances, I wasn't as miserable in Texas as I was in Arkansas. But the Fires there were to much.. There was a fire around where I lived everyday and I had to live in fear of waiting for the police men to come to our door and tell us we needed to evacuate immedietly, I just couln't do it there. So I'm here in Arkansas once again.

I'm working out almost everyday and taking care of Little G. He's getting so big! I'm going to fill out an application and volunteer to work at the Ronald Mcdonald House.. where I stayed after I had Little G when he was in the Nicu. But everything I do, I just feel like i'm going threw the motions. I'm not happy here.. Probably because I can't let go of how G has done me. I'm to the point where I don't even want to talk to him most days.. Don't get me wrong I had an amazing time with him while I was in Germany but that doesn't take back what he's done. And reality hit hard when I came back here.

I was so excited to get out of Arkansas and finally have our own home and be a family.. and when he said he didn't want us to go to Germany because he wanted to leave there as soon as he got back from deployment.. it hurt. He lifted me up only to drop me down. I've put so much off in my life and put so much on hold that i've wanted to do, for him. I don't even know where to begin with to forgive him... I don't even know how to forgive him.